Josh1
I’ll tell you what I think you should know, and we’ll start at high school: I was never as loquacious or confident as I may come across today. I kept plenty of things to myself, and I was absolutely the most self-loathing, easily-intimidated boy in the world. I remember being bullied for racial reasons during my first year. You’re an easy target when you don’t speak up for yourself, and even easier a target when you’re overweight and of a swarthy complexion. It was a horrible and painful time. And though the bullying didn’t last long at all, times still became worse. Why? The bullying didn’t stop because people were the wiser. It stopped because I chose to hide.

Three of my cousins went to the same school. They were a very well-liked, very popular brother-sister trio. My older brother also attended the school. He was also well-liked, and would eventually become very popular with the ladies. I looked at the four of them, and longed for their command. One of my cousins is closer to my age, so at the time, I thrust myself into groups of people that he spent time with, or that had respect for him. I felt that to be known by these people as “the guy’s cousin” was a ticket to safety. And with the older students that shared the age of my other family members, being known as “the cousin” was absolutely a passage to coolness and safety. I never did anything that one should be ashamed of. I only hung out with a group of people I truly did not feel comfortable around. I kept my mouth shut, and my head low, and as long as I did that, there was no reason to bother a kid like me. Then again, there was no real reason to like me, and this thought made me scream inside more than any other. I was living a life of mediocrity and anonymity.

Mid-high school, I entered a program that situated kids from neighboring towns into one class; a class that would together endure the upcoming years of high school, while the vast majority of other students rotated normally. Now, let me get to the point: the kids I forced myself to hang out with, and kids that rotated normally, were vastly of a monotonous demographic. Then again, every town in the surrounding area was, and that was a major purpose of the program: uniting these different ethnicities and perspectives. I felt this could be a chance to change the routine I reluctantly chose to take. In fact, the people I met would change my life. They let me know that I was funny, that I had an opinion worth listening to; and they gave me the confidence to believe in my own self-worth.

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Enter college life - I left my group of friends, re-entered the world of New York City dance with far more aggression, and I was prepared with much more confidence. I would travel, meet more and more exciting people - dancers, artists and dreamers like myself. My pursuit towards becoming a broadcaster or television personality was far more driven. And I my confidence continued to grow and eventually blossom.

I am now involved in many exciting projects, ranging from dance to journalism to movie-making, but what I can tell you about me as a person is that I have a firm grip on who I am. I know now. And this is why I am able to do what I do. You can question me, and I’m sure you will. Many people will disagree with me; even hate me. Though that may change my approach towards others, that hasn’t, doesn’t and won’t challenge my choices as an individual. And I must say, having this confidence as a teenager in high school is potentially costly. Loving my individuality as an adult is a heaven-sent gift.


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ingat! (Tagalog for “take care”)
kalakalale! (Kapampangan for “take care”)